Member-only story
Rushing Into a Relationship Leads to Rushing Out of It
When rushing into a relationship, we trade expediency for endurance.
Most of us, if asked, would claim that we eventually want a permanent relationship with someone. We value commitment that endures “until death do us part.” Yet, we betray a disregard for permanence when we rush into relationships.
It’s now a cliché when dating, the question: “What are you looking for?” Wouldn’t it make far more sense to ask, “Who are you looking for?” The former implies that I’m ready to enter, for example, a long-term, committed relationship with the first suitable person I meet. Whereas the latter can be interpreted as: I may form some friendships with people I don’t have an enduring physical attraction to; just as I may find some who my attraction to is purely physical, and they might make for a fun series of romps in the hay but nothing more; and yet others I might really enjoy being around at first, though it may then fade; and, eventually, hopefully, I will find someone who I can be with forever. That last person being the one “who you are looking for.”
There seems to be, however, widespread relationship deprivation, instilling a need for someone, anyone, now — often putting aside quality for immediacy. I envision a person lost in the desert who, in the throes of…
