Oh, yea, SSRIs are terrible in that regard. I remember me and a woman, who had previously been very orgasmic, tried making love after she got on them, and it just couldn't happen! A sad day indeed.

Yes, definitely a lot of tension, and then it just disappears in the bedroom. And it's so evident right from the start because usually with penetration you get this reaction--a gasp, a little involuntary contraction, face contorting with a mix of pleasure and pain, etc.--and when that's not really there in the same way it just pulls me away from the whole experience, and I can't be present at all.

It's rare that it's so bad that I'm not engaged right from the start, but if I divide my past sexual partners into 3 camps: 1) cums very easily from penetration, 2) cums with some difficulty from penetration, and 3) has never cum from penetration. I kind of unintentionally judge them all by what it takes #2 to orgasm. Once I've done enough that I know the women in that camp would've orgasmed, then it feels like a fruitless endeavor, and I lose all enthusiasm.

And it's a vicious cycle because, if I'm not into it, I can't perform at my best, so then she's even less reactive, and it usually turns into a wholly unpleasant affair.

But it's really disappointing, because we may have just been engaging in the most passionate, sexy kissing you can imagine, but for the actual intercourse, it's just not there.