Loss, especially at a young age, as was the case with the passing of your father, can be so impossible to process. I think there is a certain instinct in us, if not simply a rational sensibility, that attributes such a singular position to life that we can’t understand how it can simply be extinguished, often from one moment to the next. And in that confusion we seek so desperately for some sort of an answer that we come to blame someone, anyone. I had a regret after writing this post that I hadn’t touched more on blaming others, which I also see, and I believe the anger against drunk drivers is sort of the archetypal example of that because as much as we want to blame the drunk driver, we usually find that they suffer from alcoholism, or were some young person being irresponsible, and were bereft of any self-control at the time of the incident. It leaves us largely as unable to attribute blame as we are unable to attribute blame for mortality itself.

I appreciate you sharing your story and insights. And thank you again for your complementary words, and for taking the time to read and respond to my work.