It really is very awkward! I've met guys who by all accounts I should be friends with, but we have to somehow accomplish that without showing any real interest in each other, so it's a whole stupid rigmarole.

Talking about it makes me feel like I'm discussing the unique mating ritual of some exotic bird, but it's true--whether it's societal or instinctual--it has to happen in an oddly specific way.

I apologized literally within minutes, and reached out with concern over the coming days. I also pressed the friend I fought with on whether or not he remembered how things went that night, since he refused to apologize, and he was very clearly the aggressor. But he wasn't having it and still frames himself as the victim.

He did say that we'd be cool if I paid his medical bills in full. I initially offered to go half. He insisted I pay all of it. I told him that he had no right to insist on anything, that he started it.

Anyways, they've basically just made thinly veiled threats about causing me bodily harm thereafter.

Don't think there's any going back, and honestly, good riddance. They were pretty terrible friends if I'm being honest. I always harken back to how my best friend never even bought my first book when it came out.

I'm rambling, so let me conclude by saying: I'm lamenting the lack of friends, especially the lack of male friends, but not the loss of those specific friends.