Definitely not satire.

The whole point of it is that it's impossible to go through that many iterations without falling into a routine. Everyone is having the same conversations over and over again. It's not just me; the women I'm dating complain of the exact same thing.

Success was not measured by securing a second date. The story in full is, in fact, one of failure--failure to secure a meaningful and lasting connection. If success was measured by securing second dates, this would be a tale of triumph. It's as if you skipped over the last 4 paragraphs altogether.

After I realize within 5 minutes that there won't be a second date, I still try to be polite, pleasant, and engaging because I'm not a jerk, and I still want my date to have a good time since we've already obligated ourselves to spend that time together. Should I turn around and walk off right then?

I open myself up to criticism by posting about my personal life online, but if you want that criticism to hit home, make it reflect reality. Not some half-baked interpretation to fit an angle of attack that makes you feel superior.